he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize