Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its about making memories worth repressing
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
