so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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