There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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