How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize