I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
