He is an equal opportunity slut.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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