i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
