She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
