We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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