I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
