all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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