I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
