i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
