apparently the secret to your success is patron
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
