Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize