Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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