I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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