girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
