pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We left an ass print on the piano.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
