Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
