He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
