are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize