I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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