Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
