So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
