We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
