I molested 6 butterflies tonight
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
