Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
