i think my tv is drunk
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
