I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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