I have demons in me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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