What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize