i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
