hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
