would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
