one might say we're banned from that church
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
