it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
