So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
