Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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