So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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