I need help removing her.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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