There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
