So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
