i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
