xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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