my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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