he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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