i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
