you guys were way drunker than both of me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
