I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
