I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
