No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
