didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize