Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize