so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
