I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Randomize
