Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize