two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
