Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize