I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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