Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
