hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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