I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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