"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
