What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
