ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
