I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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