Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
that may or may not have been my penis.
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