You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
