Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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