I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
