i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
