I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
did you just send me my own nude
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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