Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize