Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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