yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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