you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
