She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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