I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
